Daily Archives: January 25, 2007

The war is heating up

The military has designed a new weapon, that when fired upon, feels like you are about to catch fire.

I’m not sure what that feels like to “about to catch fire”, but I don’t think I want to find out. In fact who gets volunteered for this type of testing? I think I would look for employment elsewhere if my superior recommended that I get in front of this new ray gun that makes you feel like you are on fire. “Oh come on, it will be fun!”

The other problem I have with this new toy is why heat? The rays are supposed to be somewhere around 130 degrees. This gun was designed for mob control, in hopes that people would drop their weapons and cooperate. Who did the test study on this?

Where are large groups of mobs that we want to control?

Middle East.

What is the average temperature in Iraq?

Oh, I would say about 130 degrees.

Hello? What is this ray gun gonna do to help? Hell, on a sunny day it probably feels like standing under the only cactus plant large enough to produce a cool shade.

Here is my idea: Lets make a gun that makes you feel like you just dove into a river in mid-January somewhere in Iceland. Now here is something that might make someone who is no doubt accustomed to extreme heat feel just a small amount of displeasure. If nothing else it will make their nether regions shrink to the size of a well-endowed field mouse and really that’s what this war is about anyway. Not?

It’s about who has the biggest “gun”.

Oh yeah and oil, but Bush said he wants to decrease oil dependency by twenty percent so that brings us back to the first reason.

Think about it.

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No Presidential Contender

John Kerry announced he will not be running for President in 2008.

A lot of people are wondering “Why not?”, “He got pretty darn close to winning last time.”

Here’s the low down though. Even though John Kerry is arrogant, he is not stupid.

2008 just happens to be the year he seeks re-election to his Senate seat and without securing his current job before running for president a second time, he may end up losing again and without any job.

I see him running the next time though. Watch and see.

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