Monthly Archives: January 2007

Back Again

I’m back at work after being sick for two days. Got loads to catch up on, especially homework.

More to come…


Sick Today

Hopefully back tomorrow…

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The war is heating up

The military has designed a new weapon, that when fired upon, feels like you are about to catch fire.

I’m not sure what that feels like to “about to catch fire”, but I don’t think I want to find out. In fact who gets volunteered for this type of testing? I think I would look for employment elsewhere if my superior recommended that I get in front of this new ray gun that makes you feel like you are on fire. “Oh come on, it will be fun!”

The other problem I have with this new toy is why heat? The rays are supposed to be somewhere around 130 degrees. This gun was designed for mob control, in hopes that people would drop their weapons and cooperate. Who did the test study on this?

Where are large groups of mobs that we want to control?

Middle East.

What is the average temperature in Iraq?

Oh, I would say about 130 degrees.

Hello? What is this ray gun gonna do to help? Hell, on a sunny day it probably feels like standing under the only cactus plant large enough to produce a cool shade.

Here is my idea: Lets make a gun that makes you feel like you just dove into a river in mid-January somewhere in Iceland. Now here is something that might make someone who is no doubt accustomed to extreme heat feel just a small amount of displeasure. If nothing else it will make their nether regions shrink to the size of a well-endowed field mouse and really that’s what this war is about anyway. Not?

It’s about who has the biggest “gun”.

Oh yeah and oil, but Bush said he wants to decrease oil dependency by twenty percent so that brings us back to the first reason.

Think about it.

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No Presidential Contender

John Kerry announced he will not be running for President in 2008.

A lot of people are wondering “Why not?”, “He got pretty darn close to winning last time.”

Here’s the low down though. Even though John Kerry is arrogant, he is not stupid.

2008 just happens to be the year he seeks re-election to his Senate seat and without securing his current job before running for president a second time, he may end up losing again and without any job.

I see him running the next time though. Watch and see.

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Sometimes it’s so clear…

Today at lunch I happened to be driving home over the interstate bridge when I passed an ordinary minivan.

You know the type Dodge Caravan, brown, three years of dirt to cover the impending rust, you get the idea.

Anyway my plan is to pass this person before I reach my turn for Subway. As I start to overcome the vehicle I look across over my shoulder to see what type of soccer mom is driving this fine automobile and I am greeted with a scowl that could have frozen time.

I quickly turned away and let her take the lead and promptly ducked in behind her as I did not want this witch to rear end me as I slowed to turn.

Then I see it.

Her license plate says: LADYDOG

I think to my self, “Why would anyone put LADYDOG on their license plate?”

Then it hits me like a slap to the face!

What is the correct term for a LADY DOG?

Well a b*tch of course!

Props to getting that one through the DMV!

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Interesting Celebration

TULSA, Oklahoma (AP) — Organizers of a coming-out party for a buried 1957 Plymouth Belvedere could use some help.

car, which was buried in brand-new condition under the lawn of the
Tulsa County Courthouse in 1957, is scheduled to be unearthed June 15
as part of the Oklahoma Centennial.

Promoters are looking for
people who helped lower the car into its crypt in 1957 to perhaps shed
some light on what to expect when the car is unearthed.

speculation the car may have turned into a pile of rust. Or that it’s
in pristine condition and worth thousands of dollars.

I’ve always wondered about all these “time-capsules” buried over the years…

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No, not dead

Just really busy. Hopefully will post more yet today…