Things a Man Should Know about Fatherhood

28. When changing diapers, avoid baby powder, as it can irritate her lungs.

When changing diapers, definitely don’t avoid the Desitin–spread it thick, like Spackle.

29. It never hurts to videotape the baby-sitter.

Especially if she’s hot.

30. Never disclose to other parents that you have found a good baby-sitter.

31. Reason boys are better: They cost less, especially their clothes.

32. Reason girls are better: They’re less likely to burn, slash, or chew the clothes they have.

33. Overalls are not only cute, they provide a convenient handle.

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