I’m not much for politics, but I do know a few things:
- gas is always cheaper around election time
- political parties make great scapegoats
- if you can lie on national TV without resentment, you are either a reporter or a politician
Anyway here is Micheal Moore’s pledge:
A Liberal’s Pledge to Disheartened Conservatives
November 14th, 2006
To My Conservative Brothers and Sisters,
I know you are dismayed and disheartened at the results of last week’selection. You’re worried that the country is heading toward a very bad placeyou don’t want it to go. Your 12-year Republican Revolution has ended withso much yet to do, so many promises left unfulfilled. You are in a funk, andI understand.
Well, cheer up, my friends! Do not despair. I have good news for you. I, andthe millions of others who are now in charge with our Democratic Congress,have a pledge we would like to make to you, a list of promises that we offeryou because we value you as our fellow Americans. You deserve to know whatwe plan to do with our newfound power — and, to be specific, what we willdo to you and for you.
Thus, here is our Liberal’s Pledge to Disheartened Conservatives:
Dear Conservatives and Republicans,
I, and my fellow signatories, hereby make these promises to you:
1. We will always respect you for your conservative beliefs. We will never,ever, call you “unpatriotic” simply because you disagree with us. In fact,we encourage you to dissent and disagree with us.
2. We will let you marry whomever you want, even when some of us consideryour behavior to be “different” or “immoral.” Who you marry is none of ourbusiness. Love and be in love — it’s a wonderful gift.
3. We will not spend your grandchildren’s money on our personal whims or toenrich our friends. It’s your checkbook, too, and we will balance it foryou.
4. When we soon bring our sons and daughters home from Iraq, we will bringyour sons and daughters home, too. They deserve to live. We promise never tosend your kids off to war based on either a mistake or a lie.
5. When we make America the last Western democracy to have universal healthcoverage, and all Americans are able to get help when they fall ill, wepromise that you, too, will be able to see a doctor, regardless of yourability to pay. And when stem cell research delivers treatments and curesfor diseases that affect you and your loved ones, we’ll make sure thoseadvances are available to you and your family, too.
6. Even though you have opposed environmental regulation, when we clean upour air and water, we, the Democratic majority, will let you, too, breathethe cleaner air and drink the purer water.
7. Should a mass murderer ever kill 3,000 people on our soil, we will devoteevery single resource to tracking him down and bringing him to justice.Immediately. We will protect you.
8. We will never stick our nose in your bedroom or your womb. What you dothere as consenting adults is your business. We will continue to count yourage from the moment you were born, not the moment you were conceived.
9. We will not take away your hunting guns. If you need an automatic weaponor a handgun to kill a bird or a deer, then you really aren’t much of ahunter and you should, perhaps, pick up another sport. We will make ourstreets and schools as free as we can from these weapons and we will protectyour children just as we would protect ours.
10. When we raise the minimum wage, we will pay you — and your employees –that new wage, too. When women are finally paid what men make, we will payconservative women that wage, too.
11. We will respect your religious beliefs, even when you don’t put thosebeliefs into practice. In fact, we will actively seek to promote your mostradical religious beliefs (“Blessed are the poor,” “Blessed are thepeacemakers,” “Love your enemies,” “It is easier for a camel to go throughthe eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God,” and”Whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you didfor me.”). We will let people in other countries know that God doesn’t justbless America, he blesses everyone. We will discourage religious intoleranceand fanaticism — starting with the fanaticism here at home, thus setting agood example for the rest of the world.
12. We will not tolerate politicians who are corrupt and who are bought andpaid for by the rich. We will go after any elected leader who puts him orherself ahead of the people. And we promise you we will go after the corruptpoliticians on our side FIRST. If we fail to do this, we need you to call uson it. Simply because we are in power does not give us the right to turn ourheads the other way when our party goes astray. Please perform thisimportant duty as the loyal opposition.
I promise all of the above to you because this is your country, too. You areevery bit as American as we are. We are all in this together. We sink orswim as one. Thank you for your years of service to this country and forgiving us the opportunity to see if we can make things a bit better for our300 million fellow Americans — and for the rest of the world.