BASIC – The horny divorcee that lives next door. Her specialty is seducing young boys and it seems she is always readily available for them. She teaches them many amazing things, or at least they seem amazing because it is their) first experience. She is not that young herself, but because she was their first lover the boys always remember her fondly. Her cooking and sewing skills are mediocre, but largely irrelevant, it’s the frolicking that the boys like. The opinion that adults have of Mrs. BASIC is varied. Shockingly, some fathers actually introduce their own sons to this immoral woman! But generally the more righteous adults try to correct the badly influenced young men by introducing them to well behaved women like Miss Pascal.
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Technorati Tags: programming, funny, humor, list, lists, languages, comparison, women, ladies
Categories: Life · Linux · Lists · Technology
November 30, 2006 · 1 Comment
I’ve always felt that you should pick a president the same way you’d pick an attorney to help you out of a dangerous legal problem. Do you want the attorney who dresses nicely and belongs to your church? Or do you want the attorney who can rip out your opponent’s heart and put it on the hibachi before he dies? Maybe it’s just me, but I want an attorney who is part demon. And I want a president who isn’t afraid to make rational decisions.
Now in the interest of balance, I have to acknowledge there would be some downside to the Bill Gates presidency. For example, he doesn’t have a voice you’d want to hear every night on the news. But I’d be happy if he just stayed home and ran things by e-mail. I really don’t need to hear him yammering to know he’s working. If I have questions, I’ll check his blog.
Apparently he is not alone. I’d vote for him.
I really wish you could vote for neither candidate. Most elections you are forced into picking the lesser of two evils. Why not be able to vote “neither”, and if enough people do the same the political parties have to go back and find new candidates.
I also think if Rudy, New York City’s ex-mayor, runs he will win by a landslide. Only problem is that a republican president with a now democrat congress can’t get anything accomplished.
Technorati Tags: democrat, republican, politics, congress, Bill Gates, president, Scott Adams
Categories: Life · politics
This was too good not to pass on:
26. Say in perfect English, “I don’t speak English, sorry”
27. Say “Want to hear a cool noise?” … then hang up.
28. Tell them to please hold while you do your buisness. Then making farting sounds in the phone and after 30sec come back breathing hard.
29. When they start talking, begin to listen. Then, in the middle of their speech, moan and say “(name of same gender), Stop it! I’m on the phone!” Apologize to the telemarketer and let them continue to talk. Moan sensually again, and say any of the fun phrases you can think of. Example: “Oh honey don’t stop it feels so GOOD!”
30. When the telemarketer calls, act very interested. Say you’ll order the product, and then when they ask for your address say “1600 Pennsylvania Avenue, Washington DC”
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Technorati Tags: funny, humor, telemarketers, phone, sales, list, lists
Categories: funny · humor